Development conversations with youth players: a template that holds up

Before you start: decide what the conversation is

The most common mistake is running two conversations at once. A development conversation is about the player’s development. A selection conversation is about why somebody is not playing. They need different preparation and a different tone, and a player who gets one while expecting the other leaves disappointed whatever you said.

Say which it is when you book it. One sentence is enough: "This is about how you are developing, not about selection."

The structure: four parts, fifteen minutes

Keep the order. Letting the player speak first is not politeness — it is what decides whether the rest becomes a conversation or a lecture.

• 1. The player first, around five minutes. You listen and write it down.
• 2. Your view, around five minutes. Two things that work, one to improve.
• 3. One thing to work on until next time. One, not three.
• 4. Book the follow-up before you stand up. Otherwise it will not happen.

The questions that actually get answers

Avoid questions that can be answered with "fine". Ask for situations rather than judgements — a twelve-year-old can describe a match they remember, but cannot assess their own development in the abstract.

• Which match this autumn are you happiest with, and what made it good?
• What is hardest right now, in training or in a match?
• If you could choose your position next season, which would it be? Why?
• Is there anything I do as a coach that does not help you?
• How much do you want to invest in football over the next year? There is no wrong answer.

How to give criticism that can be used

Criticism about the person sticks. Criticism about a situation can be acted on. The difference between "you are passive" and "in the middle of the second half against Rydboholm you stood still when we lost the ball" is that the second one can be trained away.

Use one concrete example per point. If you have footage that is better still — most players remember the situation differently from how it was, and it is rarely because they are lying.

What not to do

• Do not compare with a teammate. Ever, not even favourably.
• Do not promise anything about playing time. A conversation is not the place to negotiate selection.
• Do not have the parent in the room from twelve upwards, unless the player wants them there.
• Do not write down anything you would not say to the player directly.
• Do not turn it into a review of the season. That is a different thing, and it belongs with the team as a whole.

Keeping track over time

The value is not in the conversation but in the second one, when you can say "we said this in March — how has it gone?". That requires having written something down, and finding it six months later.

A spreadsheet goes a long way. In Breakout you can instead rate in five parts — defending, passing, strength, shooting and technique — for players who have ratings switched on, and the player sees it themselves. It does not replace the conversation, but it means you and the player start from the same place next time.

Common follow-up questions

How often should you hold development conversations?

Twice a season is enough and is realistic for a volunteer coach. One at the start, one at the halfway point. More than that rarely happens, and a cancelled conversation is worse than one never booked.

From what age is it meaningful?

From around ten, but shorter and more concrete — five minutes about a match the player remembers. The full structure works from twelve or thirteen.

Should the parents be there?

Under twelve, by all means. From twelve upwards: ask the player. Most say no, and that answer is worth respecting in itself. Do always tell the parents that the conversations happen and what they are about.

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